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RetardedBullFrog

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 10:42pm) | Search for a member

RetardedBullFrog

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5369
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RetardedBullFrog : I just hop around all day. Sometimes I get out of my pond to post stuff on FML. I get help from my butler ( kid in the picture ) as to what to write in it. I enjoy playing sports with my buddies down at the pond next to mine, we usually just play basketball and eat flies.

RetardedBullFrog's page activity

Visits<b>DropDeadKrislyn</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:07am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:30am<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Alup132</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:19am<b>socoldmusic13</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:59pm<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:04am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:26am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:24am<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:26pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:28am<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 5:57pm<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 9:18pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:13pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:00am<b>sashakotlik</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:27pm<b>julako</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:31pm

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RetardedBullFrog's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8985) - you deserved it (40992)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11467) - you deserved it (88939)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15056) - you deserved it (40051)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

#18397332
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (24225)

On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (2628)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26222) - you deserved it (18820)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

#18325691
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (1971)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by CRC (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12421) - you deserved it (38566)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

#18299655
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6603) - you deserved it (79972)

On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (31189)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

#18279897
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (5497)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

#18262782
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (4097)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by jdancerchick - United States

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32362) - you deserved it (3012)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (9843)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)



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