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About ReligiousAtheist : I have hands, envy me.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35233) - you deserved it (1231)
On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16654) - you deserved it (28026)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (2940)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62410) - you deserved it (4355)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (5488)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (4401)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (3917)
On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121990) - you deserved it (29421)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
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