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RedneckAngel's favorite FMLs
by Username / 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML
by GabisayzRAWR / 03/21/2012 at 12:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health
by Laura / 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
by lyla / 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
by thatswhatsup66 / 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by argh / 03/20/2012 at 4:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Evelyn / 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids
Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML
by PatientInWaiting / 03/19/2012 at 6:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
by liver / 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML
by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by CDeVeney92 / 03/17/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to… Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk"… Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my…