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RedneckAngel's favorite FMLs
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by James / 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
by Anon / 03/30/2012 at 1:10am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous
by scarletscarface / 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by nicoleee / 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm / United States / Work
by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
by Cass / 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Brittany / 03/27/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Anna / 03/27/2012 at 9:08pm / United States / Health
by LoveBytes / 03/27/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by halfasleep / 03/27/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
- Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One… Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him… Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and…