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RedneckAngel's favorite FMLs
by XxEmoWolfiexX / 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
by lexii / 05/05/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Animals
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 12:41am / United States / Transportation
by AngryLittleMan / 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm / United States / Transportation
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals
by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by questionmark707 / 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
by Holls / 04/12/2012 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
by dl / 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Scabby / 04/11/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
by Becca / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM… Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a… Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just…