About Red_Wing_Nut44 : 'sup creeper? Since you be creepin', I enjoy making witty comments, hope to be on someone's favorite FMLer list one day, and love arguing with trolls over why the Detroit Red Wings rock. Also, if you message me I won't respond because I'm pretty much always on the app.
Red_Wing_Nut44's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Red_Wing_Nut44's favorite FMLs
by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML
by Me / 05/31/2011 at 2:49am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by adogg18 / 05/29/2011 at 4:12am / United States (California) / Transportation
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 5:03am / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 12:27am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML
by atetoeate / 08/27/2010 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love
by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health
by holycow / 02/22/2010 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by notasgood / 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…