About RebornUnicorn : I'm Amy and I have no idea why I called myself RebornUnicorn. Movies are also my life.
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RebornUnicorn's favorite FMLs
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
by DJ / 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML
by easteryegg / 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by TheRuleEnforcer / 03/29/2013 at 4:33am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML
by WildaRora / 03/14/2013 at 3:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 3:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, at work, I was yelled at by a mom for putting gravy on her daughter's mashed potatoes, even… Today, I realized my paranoia of smelling bad in front of other people has reached an all time low,… Today,I ran home to quickly walk my dog around the block. She had been out before and the walk was…