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Raytysbird

Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 7:47pm) | Search for a member

Raytysbird

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Raytysbird's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Raytysbird's badges

Raytysbird's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (50140)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42569) - you deserved it (6720)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (6317)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39250) - you deserved it (5639)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (4986)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (5258)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34507) - you deserved it (8346)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (3755)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (4447)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41589) - you deserved it (13561)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (6406)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50396) - you deserved it (6607)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48950) - you deserved it (4729)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (8135)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (55556)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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