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Raytysbird

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Raytysbird

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 260
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Raytysbird's favorite FMLs

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (38627)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (5688)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44357) - you deserved it (4845)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (51346)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44709) - you deserved it (6908)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38525) - you deserved it (6339)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (6011)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (4990)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (5453)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (8355)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46193) - you deserved it (3763)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46847) - you deserved it (4472)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41620) - you deserved it (13585)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40377) - you deserved it (6410)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50560) - you deserved it (6622)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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