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About RavenDesired : The only reason I clicked on you is to see your picture properly. Don't get excited.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2839) - you deserved it (326)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7912) - you deserved it (863)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3836) - you deserved it (6638)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6303) - you deserved it (862)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4772) - you deserved it (1399)
On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6338) - you deserved it (5011)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (1611)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14258) - you deserved it (3308)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (1698)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1355) - you deserved it (7873)
On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4364) - you deserved it (8301)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5327) - you deserved it (3038)
On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3334) - you deserved it (14319) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8535) - you deserved it (856)
On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1875) - you deserved it (8192)
On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)
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