im a 14 year old girl, ADORE the color purple, loves pizza and icecream haha:), favorite animal is dogs.
Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22244) - you totally deserved it (1324)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3912) - you totally deserved it (22095)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5550) - you totally deserved it (16120)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
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On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you totally deserved it (1815)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a youtube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his Ipod and at the end he showed how there was no scratches and the Ipod screen was clean. So I took my brand new Ipod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
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On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4724) - you totally deserved it (33551)
On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML
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On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you totally deserved it (5029)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML
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On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you totally deserved it (2363)
On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you totally deserved it (4233)
On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
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On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
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On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
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On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
