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RandaDiane's favorite FMLs
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
by iLikeMyLegs / 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by geeshock1987 / 04/15/2013 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML
by a / 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm / United States / Love
Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML
by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by anniemeece / 04/07/2012 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…