This member hasn't filled in their description.
RandaDiane's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
RandaDiane's favorite FMLs
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
by iLikeMyLegs / 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by geeshock1987 / 04/15/2013 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML
by a / 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm / United States / Love
Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML
by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by anniemeece / 04/07/2012 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…