About Rainbow_dumpster : I'm an ordinary girl who life secretly sucks
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Rainbow_dumpster's favorite FMLs
Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm / United Kingdom (London) / Money
Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
by AngerManagement / 09/29/2011 at 4:04am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
by xOdaatx / 09/26/2011 at 9:01am / Australia / Love
by Lexiebear27 / 09/19/2011 at 11:56am / United States / Work
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
by Cooper491 / 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 3:07am / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML
by brittgreen / 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm / United States / Love
by freakfreak12345 / 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Maine) / Animals
by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…