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RabenSchwartz's favorite FMLs
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2010 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous90 / 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
by brentkd / 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 6:00am / Norway (Telemark) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
by Crap / 01/28/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Nick / 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
by Eagle / 01/26/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 10:27am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…