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RabenSchwartz's favorite FMLs
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2010 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous90 / 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
by brentkd / 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 6:00am / Norway (Telemark) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
by Crap / 01/28/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Nick / 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
by Eagle / 01/26/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 10:27am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…