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Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (44121)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7316) - you deserved it (24723)
On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (17032)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (2299)
On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51639) - you deserved it (4152)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (36884)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About half way through I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (16186)
On 06/10/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by rubmytummy (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (52609)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44783) - you deserved it (17306)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53361) - you deserved it (418472)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (3271)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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