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RJM_isaBeast

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RJM_isaBeast

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1988
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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RJM_isaBeast's page activity

Visits<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:39am<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:18pm

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RJM_isaBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

#15345509
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (4767)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (4188)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19381) - you deserved it (88687)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36421) - you deserved it (5573)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML

#15324992
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34066) - you deserved it (4327)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:35pm - misc - by blk8764 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

#15311271
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33841) - you deserved it (4151)

On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48123) - you deserved it (4313)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31906) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

#15231026
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (12140)

On 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm - misc - by chelsea -

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (4851)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

#14026959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28695) - you deserved it (5050)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm - health - by leilei (woman) - Philippines

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (20903)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (4848)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17957) - you deserved it (56743)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33645) - you deserved it (3509)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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