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Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (18359)
On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (8848)
On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15720) - you deserved it (21465)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (12353)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42878) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (11844)
On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3047)
On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (6278)
On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (13503)
On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (3286)
On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9242) - you deserved it (68720)
On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (5739)
On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6757) - you deserved it (46703)
On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (91265)
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (2225)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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