Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RJM_isaBeast

Search for a member

RJM_isaBeast

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1980
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

RJM_isaBeast's page activity

Visits<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:39am<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:18pm

RJM_isaBeast's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RJM_isaBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (4414)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (27426)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

#17434039
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (2224)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

#17392866
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (3937)

On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34347) - you deserved it (9876)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34611) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (5618)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (2968)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15757) - you deserved it (32724)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (4391)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (17047)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (6861)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32829) - you deserved it (8232)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (10109)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: