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Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (2555)
On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53255) - you deserved it (3341)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (3267)
On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (2026)
On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (9519)
On 11/02/2011 at 9:50am - love - by S. Bauer (woman) - Portugal
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (10780)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (3111)
On 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm - health - by stitchesupmyass (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (1896)
Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (1770)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - money - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (4002)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you deserved it (25124)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9879) - you deserved it (49838)
On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9845) - you deserved it (30085)
Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (4449)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by Halle - United States (California)
Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (2181)
On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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