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R3DN3CKTBRIZZ7's favorite FMLs
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML
by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
by sometingwong / 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by JadeC / 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
by Hot Pants / 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2011 at 2:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
by AmericanDream / 12/01/2011 at 12:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by yessir / 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shitty day / 11/30/2011 at 5:53am / United States / Health
by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation
by kait / 11/29/2011 at 12:34am / United States (New York) / Work
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…