This member hasn't filled in the description.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (7767)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (6110)
On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (3778)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (2035)
On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (2215)
On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (43670)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19522) - you deserved it (4574)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (2593)
On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States
Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17210) - you deserved it (1424)
On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55317) - you deserved it (2251)
On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (126312)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8091) - you deserved it (43139)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (58471)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (51631)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14081) - you deserved it (46335)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
