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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden an tragic death . After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5 . I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer . FML
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML
TODAY MY BOYFRIAND AN I GOT INTIMATA WIT AAC OTAR 4 TA FIRST TIMA!! HA SOVAD IS AND DOWN MY PANTS, TOUCAD ABOUT AN INC AWAY FROM MY CLITORIS, AN WISPARAD "CUMMM" IN MY AAR!! I DOUBT I'LL AVA AN ORGASM AVAR AGAIN!!
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patron suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
Today... I decidd to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all fir little kids. When I checkd back later... mah post had been editd into me tearfully coming out of the closet... and some guy had said he'd passd mah details on to Anonymous. FML
Yesterday , while I was getting intimate with my husband , he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
Yesterday, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Sades of Grey in an attempt to learn ow to please me in bed . Now all e does is suck on my toes, an tinks it's weird tat I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nympomaniacal weirdo . mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015