QWERTYCommander

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QWERTYCommander

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2458
  • Number of comments : 449
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About QWERTYCommander : What would you need to know about me?

QWERTYCommander's page activity

Visits<b>spiderpig13579</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 12:05am<b>joeyl1990</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 12:26am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:43am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:39am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:17am<b>udaykataria</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:30am<b>shrek1000</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:08am<b>Leenah_93</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:03pm<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:38pm<b>bbenedict</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 5:33pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>Metcape</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:02pm<b>PorchKitty</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:43am<b>BaronKiko</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:11am<b>antanooch</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:10pm<b>HitmanKillsYou</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:45pm<b>mistykitten</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:55pm<b>koganti</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:01am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:05pm

QWERTYCommander's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of QWERTYCommander's badges

QWERTYCommander's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

by grrrr / 02/12/2011 at 2:00pm / United States / Love

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

by UghCats / 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

by unknown / 02/04/2011 at 3:11am / Animals

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

by anonymous / 02/03/2011 at 12:17am / Intimacy

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

by Joey / 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

by Poopie / 01/29/2011 at 1:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 6:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous