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PygmyChildren

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PygmyChildren

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  • Number of visits : 90
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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PygmyChildren's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16262) - you deserved it (46076)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35337) - you deserved it (7616)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (5095)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (3475)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (4501)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27928) - you deserved it (1815)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
167 comments

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21421) - you deserved it (1472)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (26383)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44635) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

#20012679
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31282) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
273 comments

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (3818)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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