About PsychoticAsylum : I'm not sure what to write here anymore. Guess I'll just say that I go on here daily yet I almost never comment. I might have a slight fear of making a fool of myself in public. Oh well. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (15546)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (2897)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (5421) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm - kids - by laptitesouris (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38859) - you deserved it (3274)
On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States
Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (10677)
On 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (2150)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17061) - you deserved it (46028)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (11666)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33748) - you deserved it (13378)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (2143)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (13590)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16187) - you deserved it (41198)
On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28337) - you deserved it (1550)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55189) - you deserved it (5626)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56361) - you deserved it (6632)
On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
