About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.
PsychoticAsylum's FML badges
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by talktothefacecausethehandswanking / 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 10:28am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
by naughtymommy0317 / 06/20/2013 at 4:47am / United States / Intimacy
by Overprotected / 06/19/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…