About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.
PsychoticAsylum's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
by gl0b3suck0r / 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
by ohgodwhy / 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by amazed / 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML
by neverakid / 04/13/2012 at 9:01pm / United States / Kids
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he's unhappy with his life. He's basically with me because I… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…