About PsychoticAsylum : I'm not sure what to write here anymore. Guess I'll just say that I go on here daily yet I almost never comment. I might have a slight fear of making a fool of myself in public. Oh well. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (1383)
On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I picked up a broken piece of seemingly velvety cactus to show my mom. I now have a million microscopic, painful splinters in my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8229) - you deserved it (25741)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:24pm - health - by OhHeySlogan - United States (Texas)
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (14907)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States
Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (4707)
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (2555)
On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36009) - you deserved it (3113)
On 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm - health - by stitchesupmyass (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50265) - you deserved it (3493)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (21503)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (1836)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (3787)
On 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (2338)
On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (14436)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8113) - you deserved it (43271)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (3430)
On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (2347)
On 10/17/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by STIdiot (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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