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PsychoticAsylum

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PsychoticAsylum
  • Town/Country : Oakland, CA, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5448
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.

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PsychoticAsylum's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (3913)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (1362)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5953) - you deserved it (49272)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

#19935393
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (8264)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:06am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (1649)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML

#19905644
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10440) - you deserved it (23454)

On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10316) - you deserved it (32062)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (2927)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8315) - you deserved it (43069)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17685) - you deserved it (1920)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (3645)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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