PsychoticAsylum

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Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 4:21am)

PsychoticAsylum

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19747
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.

PsychoticAsylum's page activity

Visits<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:04pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:03am<b>Jessica00</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:47am<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:47am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:05am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:31pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:15pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:56am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:48am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:12pm<b>Inediblepeaches</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:02am<b>SyntheticSound</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:11pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 7:03am<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:47pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:31pm

PsychoticAsylum's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PsychoticAsylum's badges

PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

by nickw177 / 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Love

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

by bastardchild_01 / 10/17/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

by desperate / 10/05/2012 at 5:47am / Malta / Work

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

by red / 09/27/2012 at 7:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous