Search for a member

Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 4:21am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22307
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.

PsychoticAsylum's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:35pm<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:04pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:03am<b>Jessica00</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:47am<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:47am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:05am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:31pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:15pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:56am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:48am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:12pm<b>Inediblepeaches</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:02am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 7:03am<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:47pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:31pm

PsychoticAsylum's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PsychoticAsylum's badges

PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

by veggieluver / 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

by What a happy day / 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

by daughter of a gullible cunt / 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

by fuck you, mum / 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

by juvenile friends suck / 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy