Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PsychoticAsylum

Search for a member

PsychoticAsylum
  • Town/Country : Oakland, CA, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5432
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.

PsychoticAsylum's last visitors

HowieDoItkitcat517SyntheticSoundAvatar_KirraHilda_xsdroze1389trex83TrollxKibarutomarulickocoraline123c

PsychoticAsylum's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PsychoticAsylum's badges

PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

#20567033
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43884) - you deserved it (3143)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (48195)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (14707)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (13686)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (3026)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (13719)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18925) - you deserved it (52142)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (2230)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59419) - you deserved it (7966)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64570) - you deserved it (9732)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you deserved it (3736)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (3127)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (3447)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (2883)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: