About PrettyKookieToo : Someone like you should not be allowed to start any fires.
In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction.
The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.
It would take 11 Empire State Buildings, stacked one on top of the other, to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point.
The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
But seriously, will you stay in the lover's story?
P.S Bowie and Jagger are my OTP
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37789) - you deserved it (3009)
On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (1340)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (3178)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (3600)
On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12090) - you deserved it (14942)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18482) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16682) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29820) - you deserved it (1466)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm - animals - by AdamwithanA (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14832) - you deserved it (2395)
On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19116) - you deserved it (2192)
On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13664) - you deserved it (6806)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12443) - you deserved it (5262)
On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16697) - you deserved it (1978)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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