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PrettyKookieToo

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PrettyKookieToo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PrettyKookieToo : No matter what I write here, I will end up hating my past self for writing it, like Karkat or something.

So, I elect to write nothing in particular.

PrettyKookieToo's page activity

Visits<b>fitts6</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:31am<b>OnePLAN</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:31pm<b>GriffinPeter</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:49pm<b>_Willa_</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:23pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 6:25pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:12pm<b>MuffinOfSuccess</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 2:10pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 2:55am<b>Dannyboy365</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:40pm<b>chrissysmiles268</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 6:25am<b>Mshrodes</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:25pm<b>kayydb7</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 6:22pm<b>30361</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:57am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:17pm<b>britts95</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 7:33pm<b>elsie96</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 2:26pm<b>chiefcloudrunner</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 2:27pm

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PrettyKookieToo's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (4315)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38201) - you deserved it (2152)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (3669)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (5311)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (25207)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (6444)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34578) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (2919)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19204) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

#20022605
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19288) - you deserved it (9329)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (7209)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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