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Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 2:16am) | Search for a member
About Posthuman : I see you've wondered onto this page. Well, I suppose it must have been an accident. No one really comes here, and when they do, it's to usually tell me that I'm a satanist. Which I'm not. I'm actually a Christian. Now, just because I believe in God doesn't mean I'm a buzzkill. I'm pansexual; greatly enjoy Heavy Metal, Sludge Metal, Metalcore, and classic rock; enjoy this website; and tend to be rather to the point and blunt when I'm not being witty.
You can find me on Facebook under John Zachary Knox, on Instagram as SinematicCreatures95, and on snapchat as Captain Courageous. I also have a reddit, not much is ever posted there, and it's helpmeiamonfire. My YouTube has some nice vids. Like my screamo covers that progressively get better. It's captaincourageous95.
You're still here? Huh. Didn't think there would be much more you'd wanna know. PM me if I'm wrong.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Thursday 22 January 2015