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About Posthuman : "I keep myself alive...just to die...more every day..."
I enjoy reading about other peoples misery. My favorite commenters are DocBastard, perdix, NoorFML, Nordrag, and gc327072.
This chick, her name is Captain_Becca_Ge, she's got it goin on.
I love music. Some of my favorite musical artists are NIN, Marilyn Manson, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Slipknot, koRn, Stone Sour, Asking Alexandria, Suicide Silence, Dethklok, Bring Me The Horizon, Crown The Empire, Motionless in White, and As I Lay Dying, just to name a small few.
Yolotards and Swag Fags, start running. I will hunt you down, one by one until the cleansing is complete
"If you're gonna be an ass, sit down and shut up. An ass's best place is in a chair."
I am not a satanist. I am, in fact, a devout Christian who respects all faiths and religions.
If you want to, message me; I'll check it eventually. I would love to make a new
Facebook: John Zachary Knox
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Friday 17 October 2014