Posthuman

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Offline (the 12/29/2015 at 5:17pm)

Posthuman

17Fucked!

PosthumanPosthuman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4448
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Posthuman : I see you've wondered onto this page. Well, I suppose it must have been an accident. No one really comes here, and when they do, it's to usually tell me that I'm a satanist. Which I'm not. I'm actually a Christian. Now, just because I believe in God doesn't mean I'm a buzzkill. I'm pansexual; greatly enjoy Heavy Metal, Sludge Metal, Metalcore, and classic rock; enjoy this website; and tend to be rather to the point and blunt when I'm not being witty.

You can find me on Facebook under John Zachary Knox, on Instagram as SinematicCreatures95, and on snapchat as Captain Courageous. I also have a reddit, not much is ever posted there, and it's helpmeiamonfire. My YouTube has some nice vids. Like my screamo covers that progressively get better. It's captaincourageous95.

You're still here? Huh. Didn't think there would be much more you'd wanna know. PM me if I'm wrong.

Posthuman's page activity

Visits<b>Jayroc</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:36am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:44am<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:28pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:55pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:59am<b>sun_shine417</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 11:30am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 3:25pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:17am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:18pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:50am<b>That_Girl_Talie</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:29pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:10am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:31am<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:25pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 8:27pm<b>aiw14</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 4:07am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:45am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:19am<b>That_Girl_Talie</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:29pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:48am<b>imhisgummybear</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:03am<b>TheyKilledKemmy</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:22am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:33pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:27pm<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:38am<b>heathertail</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:32am<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:27am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:29am<b>EKDH</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:33am<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 3:32am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:35am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:45pm<b>aimzskee</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:29am

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Posthuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

by wow, thanks / 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

by Caeru / 06/21/2011 at 3:08am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

by Macy / 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm / Italy (Lazio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

by notsoonenufdeparted / 10/02/2010 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

by Embarrassed / 10/01/2010 at 9:06am / United States / Health

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

by queenofdeath / 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

by dumbdad / 12/28/2009 at 2:30am / United States (California) / Animals