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Posthuman

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Posthuman

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PosthumanPosthuman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3117
  • Number of comments : 313
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Posthuman : I see you've wondered onto this page. Well, I suppose it must have been an accident. No one really comes here, and when they do, it's to usually tell me that I'm a satanist. Which I'm not. I'm actually a Christian. Now, just because I believe in God doesn't mean I'm a buzzkill. I'm pansexual; greatly enjoy Heavy Metal, Sludge Metal, Metalcore, and classic rock; enjoy this website; and tend to be rather to the point and blunt when I'm not being witty.

You can find me on Facebook under John Zachary Knox, on Instagram as SinematicCreatures95, and on snapchat as Captain Courageous. I also have a reddit, not much is ever posted there, and it's helpmeiamonfire. My YouTube has some nice vids. Like my screamo covers that progressively get better. It's captaincourageous95.

You're still here? Huh. Didn't think there would be much more you'd wanna know. PM me if I'm wrong.

Posthuman's page activity

Visits<b>heathertail</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:53pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 10:36pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:36pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:46am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 12:13am<b>aimzskee</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:28pm<b>MsJewelable</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:05pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:36am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:14am<b>marulicko</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:33am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:47am<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:42am<b>sadisticrose</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:40am<b>GOGETFUCKED</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:33pm<b>muzy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:20pm<b>feven</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:17pm

Liked!<b>aimzskee</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:29am

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Posthuman's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (2546)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22920) - you deserved it (4577)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

#20027054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (1985)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
204 comments

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (3246)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40242) - you deserved it (3187)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13709) - you deserved it (48019)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (2996)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

#13718235
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (2873)

On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

#13284441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40894) - you deserved it (4318)

On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (5389)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

#7378045
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (10800)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by queenofdeath - Israel (Tel Aviv)



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