Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Posthuman

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

Posthuman

9Fucked!

PosthumanPosthuman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3728
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Posthuman : I see you've wondered onto this page. Well, I suppose it must have been an accident. No one really comes here, and when they do, it's to usually tell me that I'm a satanist. Which I'm not. I'm actually a Christian. Now, just because I believe in God doesn't mean I'm a buzzkill. I'm pansexual; greatly enjoy Heavy Metal, Sludge Metal, Metalcore, and classic rock; enjoy this website; and tend to be rather to the point and blunt when I'm not being witty.

You can find me on Facebook under John Zachary Knox, on Instagram as SinematicCreatures95, and on snapchat as Captain Courageous. I also have a reddit, not much is ever posted there, and it's helpmeiamonfire. My YouTube has some nice vids. Like my screamo covers that progressively get better. It's captaincourageous95.

You're still here? Huh. Didn't think there would be much more you'd wanna know. PM me if I'm wrong.

Posthuman's page activity

Visits<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:19pm<b>facelick</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:56pm<b>koolkool994</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:16am<b>Rizzy_A</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:05pm<b>YouKnowIMeantMe_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:17pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:25am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:45pm<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:38pm<b>seetei</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:13pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:19am<b>heathertail</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:34pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:52pm<b>thatoneguy1927</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:35pm<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:27am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:46pm<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:31pm

Fucked!<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:38am<b>heathertail</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:32am<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:27am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:29am<b>EKDH</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:33am<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 3:32am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:35am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:45pm<b>aimzskee</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:29am

Posthuman's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of Posthuman's badges

Posthuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (6174)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (1567)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16710) - you deserved it (4841)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

#20121962
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (38890)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:50am - money - by Dr_Gip - United States

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25367) - you deserved it (1992)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (3380)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (1510)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27998) - you deserved it (3283)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (6604)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34842) - you deserved it (2680)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (3653)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16220) - you deserved it (61246)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (31717)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34314) - you deserved it (3559)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: