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Posthuman

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Posthuman
  • Town/Country : Hell, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1328
  • Number of comments : 262
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Posthuman : I enjoy reading about other peoples misery. My favorite commenters are DocBastard, perdix, NoorFML, Nordrag, and gc327072.

I love music. Some of my favorite bands are NIN, Marilyn Manson, Iron Maiden Black Sabbath, Slipknot, Blood On The Dance Floor, Stone Sour, Asking Alexandria, Suicide Silence, Dethklok, Bring Me The Horizon, Crown The Empire, Fit For Rivals, and As I Lay Dying.

Yolotards and Swag Fags, start running. I will hunt you down, one by one until the cleansing is complete

"If you're gonna be an ass, sit down and shut up. An ass's best place is in a chair."
~Me

I am not a satanist. I am, in fact, a devout Christian who respects all faiths and religions.

If you want to, message me; I'll check it eventually. I would love to make a new friend

http://instagram.com/captaincourageous95/
Facebook: John Zachary Knox

Posthuman's last visitors

monkeyy100anne90210djinnsnmeXxEmiMeowxXBenjiXstedfastwolfxxbvbsusanxxhaiipeopledead_insects

Posthuman's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Posthuman's badges

Posthuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (29005)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (3160)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (1252)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16547) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14050) - you deserved it (4418)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (940)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

#20150778
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17988) - you deserved it (10782)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (2263)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (2215)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7304) - you deserved it (28071)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (1766)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (961)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32568) - you deserved it (1634)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States



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