Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Posthuman

Online | Search for a member

Posthuman

1Liked!

PosthumanPosthuman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3119
  • Number of comments : 313
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Posthuman : I see you've wondered onto this page. Well, I suppose it must have been an accident. No one really comes here, and when they do, it's to usually tell me that I'm a satanist. Which I'm not. I'm actually a Christian. Now, just because I believe in God doesn't mean I'm a buzzkill. I'm pansexual; greatly enjoy Heavy Metal, Sludge Metal, Metalcore, and classic rock; enjoy this website; and tend to be rather to the point and blunt when I'm not being witty.

You can find me on Facebook under John Zachary Knox, on Instagram as SinematicCreatures95, and on snapchat as Captain Courageous. I also have a reddit, not much is ever posted there, and it's helpmeiamonfire. My YouTube has some nice vids. Like my screamo covers that progressively get better. It's captaincourageous95.

You're still here? Huh. Didn't think there would be much more you'd wanna know. PM me if I'm wrong.

Posthuman's page activity

Visits<b>heathertail</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:53pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 10:36pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:36pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:46am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 12:13am<b>aimzskee</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:28pm<b>MsJewelable</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:05pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:36am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:14am<b>marulicko</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:33am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:47am<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:42am<b>sadisticrose</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:40am<b>GOGETFUCKED</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:33pm<b>muzy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:20pm<b>feven</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:17pm

Liked!<b>aimzskee</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:29am

Posthuman's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Posthuman's badges

Posthuman's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (10830)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

#21074902
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (3671)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (9344)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (3026)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37022) - you deserved it (3453)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (6738)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51701) - you deserved it (3900)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (46761)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (32780)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (2094)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: