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Polychromasia's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
by biblepain / 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML
by xorenae / 03/27/2015 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/27/2015 at 4:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by an anon / 03/27/2015 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by comfort_ / 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML
by Julie / 03/25/2015 at 1:42am / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Love
Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML
by rayraydayday / 03/21/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by ironfey / 03/20/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML
by falling short / 03/20/2015 at 11:26am / India (Maharashtra) / Love
Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML
by MirandaJones / 03/20/2015 at 10:41am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML
by ZG_Rules / 03/20/2015 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Work
by shawnsmuffins / 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 11:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a… Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he… Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML