About PleadingInsanity : Does anyone even read this thing?
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (1984)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6945) - you deserved it (58402)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (4534)
On 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm - animals - by animalover - United States (Georgia)
Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9657) - you deserved it (36948)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54701) - you deserved it (11470)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42637) - you deserved it (2512)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (6971)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (37285)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67127) - you deserved it (22277)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56820) - you deserved it (17601)
On 03/17/2009 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by ThePopeMan (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my "don't ever touch me" cat jumped next to me acting as if she wanted to be petted. In fact, she jumped next to me to share her nasty fart. I need a new kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13111) - you deserved it (3252)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5287) - you deserved it (14958)
On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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