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Offline (the 09/30/2016 at 7:12am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5386
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted


Tattoos (2) and piercings (15, down a few) are life!!!
Born and raised Canadian
I suck at conversation so be aware if you leave a message 😛
I would like to travel Italy!🇮🇹
My goal on FML is to read them all!

Plastic_Stitchez's page activity

Visits<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 4:03pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 2:30pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 7:54pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 9:27am<b>cookie511</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:30pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 7:14am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 1:49am<b>soodytheboi</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 10:07pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:12pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:17pm<b>killomp</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 3:40am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 3:57am<b>dno79</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:05pm<b>jade_midori</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:07pm<b>deejflat</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:33pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:40am<b>Dann349</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:52pm

Fucked!<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:28pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 7:50am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:47am<b>Dann349</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:53pm<b>MRP360</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:03pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:31am<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:20am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:34am<b>martini47</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:19pm<b>dave20012</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:43am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:31pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:54pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:27am<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 11:29pm<b>TrAG3dY</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:16am<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:00am<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:16am

Plastic_Stitchez's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Plastic_Stitchez's badges

Plastic_Stitchez's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

by sales ham / 03/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

by peace out / 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm / United States / Health

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

by is there a environmental scientist in the house? / 03/05/2013 at 3:48am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

by seriously / 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

by Thankshun / 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

by DM / 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 9:23am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work