About PinkieKeen : The less you reveal, the more people can wonder.
- Emma Watson
50 favourites
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I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (26379)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (4776)
On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (4054)
On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (17483)
On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (143) - you deserved it (6023)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15319) - you deserved it (1395)
On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (21517)
On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)
Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11849) - you deserved it (1205)
On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (1983)
On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (12000)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (8160)
On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10562) - you deserved it (42379)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (4628)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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