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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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PimpDaddyT

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PimpDaddyT
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1818
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PimpDaddyT's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (1191)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (2080)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

#5921737 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (11969) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by badnewsbears (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

#5921538 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (4350) - you deserved it (35493)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96387) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (8345) - you deserved it (24747)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (1655)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

#5629622 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (14889) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (46845)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (8919) - you deserved it (24830)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

#5504696 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (10338)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (49746) - you deserved it (1568)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (68100)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)