Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PieterseMJ

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

PieterseMJ

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About PieterseMJ : lover of tech, life & people who make me laugh! loves all the wrong things for the right reasons

PieterseMJ's page activity

Visits<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:15am<b>mrnogoodboss</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:09am<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:01pm<b>eric40962005</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:50am<b>lynch321</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 1:12pm<b>mn_shr</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 10:44am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 8:56am<b>adb1827</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 8:20am<b>TheDrifter</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 8:19am<b>Potter_Head</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:39am<b>Tezaki</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:17am<b>Peridot13</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:00am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:10am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 3:56am<b>Reaper5639</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 2:54am<b>Pirateace</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 2:01am<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:30am

PieterseMJ's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of PieterseMJ's badges

PieterseMJ's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49102) - you deserved it (6743)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42892) - you deserved it (7895)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41324) - you deserved it (6655)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (6114)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (4002)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42808) - you deserved it (3943)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (4739)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45217) - you deserved it (14128)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (3865)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44325) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42419) - you deserved it (7757)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: