[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

PhoenixRose4

Search for a member

PhoenixRose4
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2048
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

PhoenixRose4's last visitors

lol_seriously

PhoenixRose4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PhoenixRose4's favorite FMLs

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (9770) - you deserved it (1468) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (17346)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (1706)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML

#6765602 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (2158)

On 12/15/2009 at 5:45pm - misc - by jellyfish_ftw (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (1431)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (7650) - you deserved it (24862)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (10552) - you deserved it (14325)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311 (491)

I agree, your life sucks (12938) - you deserved it (53992)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36042) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (9233) - you deserved it (24019)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

#6379842 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (20672)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)