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Phazerman

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 11:09pm) | Search for a member

Phazerman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 336
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Judgmental

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Phazerman's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (2724)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35979) - you deserved it (11144)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (3327)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

#21258738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38375) - you deserved it (2259)

On 09/15/2014 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

#21255774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (4752)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (11612)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML

#21255044
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (3381)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (3375)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (4698)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

#21253110
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (3151)

On 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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