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Phazerman

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Phazerman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 261
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Phazerman's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56655) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56655) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50849) - you deserved it (5892)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (3691)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52757) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52757) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44743) - you deserved it (4638)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46370) - you deserved it (18018)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (37031)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (44778)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65999) - you deserved it (6363)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (38519)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)



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