![[fr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (10898)
On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (2644)
On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (1984)
On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (4139)
On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (3570)
On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore
Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (3180)
On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (4464)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (1991)
On 03/18/2010 at 9:49am - love - by anon17 - United States
Today, I was trying to change my PIN code in order to make my phone more secure and prevent people from getting information from it. Instead, I somehow ended up locking my phone permanently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (17994)
On 03/18/2010 at 9:30am - misc - by ihateyouatt (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21044) - you deserved it (3082)
On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16410) - you deserved it (2777)
On 03/18/2010 at 7:15am - work - by son (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (23070)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13394) - you deserved it (2692)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (2271)
On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (5355)
On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
