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Phantom324

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Phantom324

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  • Number of visits : 3329
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Phantom324's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm

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Phantom324's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (15100)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

#12043060
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30760) - you deserved it (3721)

On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (5608)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30274) - you deserved it (4875)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33272) - you deserved it (4300)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML

#9183586
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (2818)

On 03/18/2010 at 9:49am - love - by anon17 - United States

Today, I was trying to change my PIN code in order to make my phone more secure and prevent people from getting information from it. Instead, I somehow ended up locking my phone permanently. FML

#9183283
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (26766)

On 03/18/2010 at 9:30am - misc - by ihateyouatt (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

#9182520
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (4233)

On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML

#9181946
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/18/2010 at 7:15am - work - by son (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14017) - you deserved it (33150)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (3758)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (3249)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

#9177145
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (7300)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)



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