Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Peroxide

Search for a member

Peroxide

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 July 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37975
  • Number of comments : 560
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Peroxide : Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

If I don't save the wee turtles who will!!
*moments later*
AHH save me from the wee turtles, they were too big for me!

This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".

Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'.

Here is a list of my favourite fml people-get fucked

It has come to my attention that a number of, shall we say, stalkers-you filthy people know who you are, have been repeatedly viewing my profile. I will not, and will not ever, be posting naked pictures of myself (pm me for naked pics).

Peroxide's page activity

Visits<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:21pm<b>D2MohawkMan</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:30pm<b>liv_476</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:45pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:49pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:40pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:36pm<b>fanartje</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:30am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:22pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:57pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:57pm<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:01pm<b>adamrjprice</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:59am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:11pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:52am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:44am

Peroxide's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Peroxide's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

#1311543
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (15285)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckatlifeeexo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (37018)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51596) - you deserved it (8622)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69049) - you deserved it (6527)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105317) - you deserved it (6439)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55656) - you deserved it (3276)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (485811) - you deserved it (29341)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: