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Peroxide

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Peroxide

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 July 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37918
  • Number of comments : 560
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Peroxide : Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

If I don't save the wee turtles who will!!
*moments later*
AHH save me from the wee turtles, they were too big for me!

This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".

Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'.

Here is a list of my favourite fml people-get fucked

It has come to my attention that a number of, shall we say, stalkers-you filthy people know who you are, have been repeatedly viewing my profile. I will not, and will not ever, be posting naked pictures of myself (pm me for naked pics).

Peroxide's page activity

Visits<b>D2MohawkMan</b> - yesterday at 12:30pm<b>liv_476</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:45pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:49pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:40pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:36pm<b>fanartje</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:30am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:22pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:57pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:57pm<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:01pm<b>adamrjprice</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:59am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:11pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:52am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:44am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:08am

Peroxide's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Peroxide's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

#9048204
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6307) - you deserved it (32776)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (7621)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35855) - you deserved it (5325)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9221) - you deserved it (42831)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (5408)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

#6130928
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (6534)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

#5869946
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14375) - you deserved it (37128)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9699) - you deserved it (95376)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44649) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (59850)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

#3855334
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69477) - you deserved it (7745)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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