Peroxide

Search for a member

Peroxide

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 July 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39319
  • Number of comments : 560
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Peroxide : Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

If I don't save the wee turtles who will!!
*moments later*
AHH save me from the wee turtles, they were too big for me!

This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".

Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'.

Here is a list of my favourite fml people-get fucked

It has come to my attention that a number of, shall we say, stalkers-you filthy people know who you are, have been repeatedly viewing my profile. I will not, and will not ever, be posting naked pictures of myself (pm me for naked pics).

Peroxide's page activity

Visits<b>Hooorror</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 3:15pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 11:42am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 11:28pm<b>jaala123</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:11am<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:42pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 1:46am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:28pm<b>courtney6996</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 5:24am<b>2simz</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:09pm<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 6:27pm<b>mkmon7</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 6:24pm<b>annikatariina</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:07am<b>meaganlo</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 3:08pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 9:24am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 3:43pm<b>YDISM</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:25pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:54am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:56pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:41pm<b>Venister</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:47pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:04am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:59am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:28am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:01am<b>macday2015</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 8:24am<b>starchicken94</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:39am

Peroxide's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Peroxide's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

by xXxJoe16xXx / 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

by Thanks / 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

by John / 11/15/2009 at 1:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

by John / 11/07/2009 at 11:04am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

by CreepyPaperDoll / 11/05/2009 at 1:36am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

by LC / 11/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

by Lovenotes / 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

by FreeOfCharge / 09/21/2009 at 2:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

by secretdeo / 08/24/2009 at 12:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

by gorgeousrenthead / 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

by harrysolo / 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

by Meh / 07/18/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy