PaytonStray

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PaytonStray

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3731
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About PaytonStray : www.myspace.com/astrozombilly

PaytonStray's page activity

Visits<b>mcduckens</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:44pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:05am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>ex_omer</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:09am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:52am<b>camjarvis44</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 12:41am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>Zarola</b> - the 03/24/2010 at 4:18pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 1:37am<b>YungMarlon23</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 11:42pm<b>mbgurl24</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 7:36pm<b>idontgiveone</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 10:15pm<b>sonyamarie</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 9:08pm<b>ha</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 5:09pm<b>Jojul</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 8:46am<b>craigahh</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 12:04pm<b>MissMichaela_</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 2:17pm<b>hahayou12345</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 11:45am

PaytonStray's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PaytonStray's favorite FMLs

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

by Gabrielguitar / 04/25/2009 at 10:23am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 10:35am / United States (Maine) / Money

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

by Cynical / 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

by enriquegay / 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy