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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Passa

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Passa
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 November 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 10459
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Passa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

#3380750 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (11225)

On 06/30/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (97745)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (62391) - you deserved it (4461)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

#1694711 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (52595) - you deserved it (4114)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

#1692972 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (46990) - you deserved it (7792)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (7187) - you deserved it (69238)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

#1659307 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (149228) - you deserved it (30017)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (14494) - you deserved it (34744)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home to find a random car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spit on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (51357)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spotted one of my close friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I decided to creep up behind him, grab his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man voice "give me all your money!". Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (7815) - you deserved it (49108)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (4433)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (85556) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

#985016 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (62031) - you deserved it (2332)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:48am - money - by A. (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (51238) - you deserved it (5130)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my friends talking about plans for later during lunch. I walked over and asked for the plan. My best friend of 12 years gently took me aside, and said "You know that person in each group of friends that is only around to be made fun of? That's you." I just got dumped by my friends. FML

#942403 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (60426) - you deserved it (2873)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by LeftOut (man) - United States (California)