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ParkBenchWreck's FML badges
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ParkBenchWreck's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by walkingdictionary / 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by stupidbullcrêpe / 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Health
by sneaky1324 / 08/18/2012 at 3:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often… Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her… Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced…