ParisMilton93

Search for a member

ParisMilton93

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 960
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ParisMilton93 : My name's Leigh, from engkand

ParisMilton93's page activity

Visits<b>smrn95</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:07pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:37pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Arkajion</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:10pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:49pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:45pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:21pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:12am<b>matt1138</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 5:19pm<b>augiedd</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:03am<b>jaybee_23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:47pm<b>_monicaamariee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:07am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:27pm

ParisMilton93's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ParisMilton93's badges

ParisMilton93's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

by yoked / 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

by RBEE / 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

by JC / 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

by redisnotmycolor / 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

by PreciousIve / 06/09/2009 at 11:36am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

by tsardaukar / 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

by daddy-to-be / 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

by foolishgirl / 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

by idkmybffjill? / 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (New York) / Work