About ParisMilton93 : My name's Leigh, from England. I'm mainly on the FML app, but occasionally online, so feel free to send a message :)
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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (2458)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53322) - you deserved it (2577)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (5491)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (35118)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18681) - you deserved it (3823)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (3097)
On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (2494)
On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (6524)
On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (2175)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (5527)
On 10/08/2009 at 12:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70472) - you deserved it (2712)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43652) - you deserved it (22196)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:36am - intimacy - by PreciousIve - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (109199)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45495) - you deserved it (60591)
On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (64843) - you deserved it (12112)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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